


Take My Hand, Let's See Where We Wake Up Tomorrow

by teenuviel1227



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Eventual Feelings, Eventual Smut, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, one-night stand plus more, sanjunipero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-21 09:19:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12454314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenuviel1227/pseuds/teenuviel1227
Summary: It was only two hours every Saturday night--it was a lifetime.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by San Junipero. 
> 
> “Los Ageless” taken from the song by St. Vincent; title is from Lost Stars by Adam Levine (although I one hundred percent prefer the Young K version, of course).
> 
> Please support [current ongoing longfic here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12391683/chapters/28194339), yell here:
> 
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227).  
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> 

**Saturday Night 01, 10:00 PM**

Jae walks down the strip, taking in the cool evening air, the neon lights that cast a pink glow on the sidewalk. The sign reads LOST STARS. He straightens his glasses, pulls his denim jacket tighter around him. He catches a glimpse of himself in the window of one of the cars--his hair is platinum blonde, glasses still the ones that he wore as a teenager: metal rims, slightly round, giving his eyes an owlish look. _Not bad, Park._ He glances at the entrance of the club, wonders if he’s actually going to go in.

Bass-heavy synth pop resonates from the club entrance. He can see people dancing--boys with piercings in their ears, girls in glittery dresses. His palms start to sweat. He glances at his watch. Two hours.

_This is it. New city, new lease on life pretty much. What the fuck are you waiting for?_

People come and go--holding hands, pressing themselves up against the hoods of their cars, kissing before they trot into the club or speed off into the night. Girls and guys, girls and girls--guys and guys. Jae’s heart is racing. He’s never done anything like this before.

His attention is averted from his encroaching fear by a man in a leather jacket with silver hair gleaming like liquid starlight. He has a bandana over his forehead, his eyes are beautiful but his mouth is downturned in a frown.

A man just about his height but with a heavier frame, a more rugged look to him, dressed in a brown coat thrown over a pineapple-printed polo shirt, reaches out to grab his wrist. “BRIAN. Yo Brian, don’t fuck with me--”

Brian turns around, his hair moving like silk, brushing across his eyebrows, falling into his eyes. “--that’s exactly it, Jackson--I don’t want to fuck with you anymore. Look, darling, we had a good time last week, why don’t we just leave it at that? I know that you think this is all some sort of cosmic connection or whatever but I’m not into that stuff. I’m into friendship and fun and that’s it. Alright? Now we’ve got two hours, let’s have a good time--preferably with other people.”

Jae watches Brian’s figure as he strides into LOST STARS like he owns the place, posture confident, sure of himself. Jae lets out a long, slow breath before holding his head high, squaring off his shoulders, and walking in.

 

**Saturday Night 01, 10:25 PM**

Jae is sitting by the bar, sipping on a bottle of Sprite from one of those loopy straws he’d last seen as a child. His palms are sweating, the warmth of them mingling with the cool moisture from the glass. He watches people dancing, bodies sweaty, everyone laughing against each other--nice, easy. He spots the guy from earlier--Brian, is it?--dancing with someone new: a girl, this time, her hair long and black, falling gracefully to just above her waist. Jae feels a twinge of disappointment. _What was I expecting anyway?_

“Hey,” a guy says, sitting next to him at the bar. Jae studies his face. He’s cute enough: brown hair, doe eyes, a wide mouth upturned in a smile.

“Hey.”

“Wonpil,” the guys says, sticking his hand out.

“Jae,” Jae replies, taking it.

“First time here? I can always spot a Bambi lost in the woods from a couple of miles off.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Jae says. _That obvious, huh._

“Anyway, this might sound a little bit forward because you’re not from here--well, not yet--but see that guy over there--” Wonpil nods toward the corner of the room where a very handsome man with curled hair falling across his forehead dressed in a black cut-off shirt to show off his sculpted arms is sitting, nursing a scotch. “--that’s my husband, Dowoon. And over there--” he points to a very handsome man dressed in a white button-down with beautiful eyes and windswept hair--”--is our boyfriend, Sungjin. We were wondering if you had anything to do tonight. Maybe you’d like to engage in a little something? Back at our place? We’ve got one of the biggest units in Los Ageless. Fortieth floor, breathtaking view of the city. It’s just fifteen minutes from here, so we’ll have a lot of time.”

Jae smiles, a blush creeping over his cheeks. “No it’s alright--I--I’m pretty content to just stay here and people-watch for a while. But best of luck with your orgy.”

Wonpil lets out a laugh. “Best of luck with your orgy--no one’s ever said that to me before. Thanks anyway. Hope you enjoy your first night here and the rest of the nights to come. Sometimes we hang out in 1976 for the pot but mostly, we’re here in 1986 for the thigh-high boots. Maybe next time?”

Jae nods. “Maybe next time.”

He waves as Wonpil walks back to where Sungjin and Dowoon are sitting.

“A shot of tequila, please. Sugar on the rim, not salt. Lemon, not lime.” The voice is deeper than he’d expected, out of breath from dancing.

Jae glances at Brian. The purple lights cast an iridescent glow across his cheeks. His eyes are so dark they remind Jae of pools of ink. His silver cross earring catches the light. Jae blinks, has a moment of madness, and works up enough courage to make the first move, speak to a complete stranger. His heart is racing.

“Hey.”

Brian looks at him, breaks into a grin. “Hey--sorry, woah. You’re adorable. What are you doing in a club like this?”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Jae runs a hand through his hair. He’s always defensive about stuff like that--being judged for, well, whatever.

The bartender sets the shot down in front of them. Brian knocks it back before licking the rest of the brown sugar off of the rim, sucking on the lemon. Jae tries not to stare at his lips.

Brian shrugs, leans a little closer, the leather on his jacket brushing against Jae’s.  “No, no, it’s not bad. It’s just the punks I’m used to seeing in here are people like Jackson or Mark or Yugyeom, ya know? Not that _they’re_ bad or anything but just like--they’re not dressed in denim and pastel pink and wearing glasses. They’re not adorable. I mean, do those even _do_ anything?”

Jae grins, a fuzzy feeling in his chest from the compliment, however subtle it may have been. “Kind of obsolete, huh? Well, obviously they don’t do anything, we’re in Los Ageless, after all, but I kept them because I’d been wearing them all my life. They’re comforting.”

“I can dig that,” Brian says, nodding. “Same with my ears. Pierced authentically, as in, not within-loop.”

"Jae, by the way." Jae sticks out his hand.

"Brian." His palms are warm.

“Are you a full-timer?” Jae asks, softly.

Brian shakes his head. “Life isn’t quite done with me yet. You new here?”

Jae lets out a soft laugh. “Is there a sign stapled to my forehead?”

“Kinda obvious--but kinda cute,” Brian says smiling. He nods at the dance floor. “You wanna dance?”

 

**Saturday Night 01, 11:01 PM**

It feels good. They’re on the dancefloor, more flirtation and two amaretto sours later--this is something Jae has ever done, outside of the city or otherwise. _My parents would freak out._ Brian’s hands are on Jae’s hips, Jae’s arms are thrown around Brian’s neck. It’s hot but playful too, the music in the background something groovy, electric piano sliding down the scale and into the chorus.

Brian leads the dance well--doesn’t do anything too complicated, knows how to sway just right, to press them together just right. Jae watches him get into the music, nose crinkling as he sings along to the chorus that Jae doesn’t know the words to.

“You know this is the first time I’ve ever danced?” Jae whispers into Brian’s ear.

“Are you kidding me?” Brian asks, eyes wide.

Jae shakes his head. “A hundred percent serious. Never had a prom, never went to a dance. Never been on a dance floor before tonight.”

“Holy crap,” Brian says, laughing. “Good thing I’m around, then.”

Jae feels lightheaded from the lights and the alcohol and the flirting. “Yeah, good thing.”

“You wanna grab a smoke?”

“I don’t smoke.”

Brian’s eyebrows furrow. “Why? In Los Ageless, nothing is bad for your health. I mean. Well, you know how it works.”

_I keep forgetting about that bit._

“Okay, then,” Jae says, relenting.

“Let’s go.” With that, Brian pulls him toward the bar, past a velvet curtain, through a heavy door and out into the alley.

 

**Saturday Night 01, 11:17 PM**

“Hrrrrrm. They’re minty,” Jae says, blowing smoke out through slightly parted lips. “I’ve never done this either.”

It’s raining. They’re standing under the small overhang in the alley, water splashing at their toes. They lean back against the wall to avoid getting soaked.

Brian raises an eyebrow. “Dude, you’re the most bizarre person I’ve ever met in this city. Most people here come to enjoy, you know? They’re trying to relive a kind of fantasy or maybe the past that they can’t get back. You’re really saying that you’ve never smoked a cigarette before?”

Jae nods, laughing a little. “Yeah. This is the wildest night of my life.”

Brian laughs too. “We literally just grooved around on the dance floor and had a couple of drinks, a cigarette. This is literally _the_ tamest night of my life. In this city, anyway. So spill the tea. You had strict parents?”

“Yeah. I never would’ve gotten away with this back then. And it’s different you know--it’s harder for people like me.”

“People like you?” Brian takes a puff from his cigarette.

“You know,” Jae says, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Errrr. I think the term they use in textbooks these days is gender-queer.”

“Ah,” Brian says. “You mean what they wrote on my birth certificate?"

Jae laughs. It feels good to finally say it. He feels like he hasn't laughed in years.

Brian glances at his watch. “Hey, you know--I mean, we’ve got some time. We’ve got like, forty-something minutes. We could turn this night into an even wilder night of your life if you want.”

Brian puts a hand on Jae’s knee, lets the tips of his fingers brush against the inseam of Jae’s thigh before pulling back, taking another drag.

Jae licks his lips, swallows nervously. His heart is pounding in his chest. “I--I can’t right now--”

“--if not now, when? If not in Los Ageless, where?”

Jae grins. “I mean. You should know that I’ve never done anything like _that_ either.”

“You mean, here?”

“I mean anywhere. It’s complicated.”

Brian nods, puts his cigarette out by tossing it into a puddle. “That’s fine. Do you think you’ll come back? Did you have fun at least?”

Jae smiles. “Definitely. Would you like to meet here again? Next Saturday? And maybe then, we can--how’d you put it--make my life a little wilder?”

Brian grins. “That works. You okay with this year? Anything else you’d prefer?”

Jae grins, puts his cigarette out too. “This year is fine. I like me some Sixteen Candles. It’s kind of fun.”

Jae feels Brian’s eyes on him--watching him: eyes, nose, lips. “Jae--”

“--mmm?”

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Jae’s face heats up. He hopes that the darkness of the dimly lit alley is enough to hide the blush that he knows has probably spread across his face. When he replies his voice is soft, hushed.

“Never a boy.”

“Oh,” Brian says, not taking his eyes off him. “Well then. Can I kiss you?”

It’s the smallest of movements but Jae has never moved surer in his life as he nods. His gaze meets Brian’s as Brian slowly lifts his face toward Jae’s before cupping his cheek and pulling him into a kiss. Brian tastes like sugar and lemons, mint--honey in tea. It tingles. Brian’s breath is warm, lips soft. Jae pulls Brian in closer by flaps of his leather jacket. Brian sighs into Jae’s mouth as his lips part ever-so-slightly. Brian sucks on the soft flesh of Jae’s lower lip, lets his tongue skim his inner lip without asking for entrance, letting this be okay for now. He smells like vanilla and powder.

When they pull apart, they’re both grinning. Jae is breathless, blinking as though still trying to get the moment to come into focus.

“Good?” Brian asks.

Jae nods. “Good. Very.”

“What do you want to do until midnight?”

Jae shrugs. “Dance--and also, kiss you some more? It seems like proper build-up to next time, doesn’t it?”

Brian grins, hands reaching for the sleeve of Jae’s jacket, bringing their foreheads together, lips brushing against each other as he speaks.

“Done and done.”

 

**Saturday Night 01, 00:00 AM**

  
█   


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I’d take the time to share this awesome bit of [fan art by @suga_drops](https://twitter.com/suga_drops/status/922319930581815296) on Twitter for this fic. Thank you so much! It is so beautiful and the lighting and color palette are exactly how I imagined.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

**Saturday Night 02, 08:00 PM**

Jae is sitting at one of the tables, sipping on a Sprite. Eighties music pounds through the speakers--Madonna, if he can place it right. He glances at his watch. He’s a bit early; he’d bargained for an extra half-hour today to be able to mentally prepare.  _ It’s okay, it’s okay, you can do it. You’ll be fine.  _ He watches the entrance, his heart racing. The week has been a long one: full of restless, fevered dreams about Brian: those eyes, that hair, the warmth of his mouth, the ring of his laughter. 

Jae feels a pang of regret as he thinks about how long it’s taken him to feel  _ this _ , how much longer he could’ve had if only he’d taken that long-labored-over step. _.  _ If only he hadn’t been so afraid all his life. If only he’d had the courage to be himself the way he had that Saturday night. 

_ Better late than never.  _

A couple of guys and girls pass by, trying to get a seat or trying to ask him a question--questions that only now become clear to him aren’t questions at all about how he’s doing or what he’s drinking or if the seat is taking, but are questions about whether or not he would like to dance or kiss or have some kind of  _ other _ conversation. He adjusts his glasses, smooths his hair. He glances at the his watch again. 

 

**Saturday Night 02, 08:37 PM**

Seven of the longest minutes of Jae’s life tick by: suspended animation, breath held on the brink of drowning.  _ Will he show up? Will I ever see him again? Have I turned down yet another thing that will make me happy?  _ Then the song shifts, going from pumped up funk to a smooth, melodic The Cure song--and Brian walks through the door, looking even better than Jae remembers: he catches in the light and glows like a prized pendant over a basin of moonlit water. No bandana tonight, the black leather jacket traded in for a thin, loose white polo shirt, the first two buttons undone, showing just enough skin. The pulsing lights (pale blue on vibrant pink tonight) make him look ethereal, shining. 

As soon as he spots Jae, he breaks into a smile, waves. Jae’s heart jumps in his chest, the whole cheesy package: butterflies in his stomach, head fuzzy, words missing.  _ Me, the writer.   _   


“Hey.” Brian slips into the booth next to Jae. 

“Hey,” Jae says shyly, his voice coming out softer, more fondly than he’d intended. 

Jae can’t help himself, just wants to know that he’s here, that this is happening: he slips a hand up Brian’s chest, uses his thumbs to stroke his cheek, brushes the hair from his eyes. 

“Well, someone looks happy to see me.” Brian grins, leans in to kiss the corner of Jae’s mouth. 

Jae lets out a nervous laugh. “A week felt like forever. I was scared it was all a really, really good dream. Or maybe the nurse made a mistake with the programming or something.” 

Brian laughs. “They wouldn’t do that. It’s as real as it gets. You wanna dance a little?”

“And shots?” Jae suggests. “To take the edge off.”

“Well look at you, Mr. Adventurous.” 

Jae grins, grabbing Brian’s hand and making for the bar. “I learned from the best.”   
  


 

**Saturday Night 02, 09:10 PM**

They’re on the dance floor, grinding against each other, bodies slick with sweat. Jae can feel his heart pounding in his throat, can already feel himself rising to the occasion, can feel Brian’s grasp on his waist grow tighter, can feel him smiling against Jae’s cheek as they continue to move to the beat. The music is a remixed love song, the original melody recognizable although dressed up--like this entire place, Jae can’t help but think. 

_ The ultimate Warhol project: repetition and change. _

The pre-chorus builds, the melody rising, rising. Jae feels like he’s going to lose his mind. His vision is aswim with color, with light, with Brian close and warm and soft and hard in all the right places, full of laughter and conversation, music in a silent room. The drop hits, the chorus’s melody blaring through. Bodies against bodies, everyone laughing, smiling, grooving, moving like the ocean. Brian’s hands in his hair. His hands tracing Brian’s jaw, fingers tracing his lips until Brian is pulling him down toward him, kissing him open-mouthed, tongues meeting in the space between the kiss. Brian’s tongue licks up against Jae’s, Jae nips at Brian’s upper lip, that little curve where it curls upward. 

Brian puts a hand to Jae’s chest. They pull apart. 

“How about we get out of here?”   
  


 

**Saturday Night 02, 09:25 PM**

They speed down the highway in Brian’s red convertible. The sky is studded with bright stars, the city lights illuminating the water as they cross the bridge, toward the coast. Brian is playing an old song on the radio--something about learning to fly, finding a way to burn out bright. 

Jae looks at Brian’s silver hair whipping in the wind, tries to memorize him in this moment: the way his fingers tap to the beat of the song, the way his shirt moves around his solid frame, the way the city lights run like a reel of film behind him.

Jae leans back and grins. 

_ I’m ready for all of it. _   
  


 

**Saturday Night 02, 10:02 PM**

Brian’s house is right by the ocean--it’s all white with a porch that leads out onto the shore. They walk inside, turn the lights on. Jae smiles, taking in the furniture: not what you’d expect from someone like Brian. Everything is made with white wood, the sheets and curtains and bedsheets the palest blue. 

“Come on,” Brian says, tugging on Jae’s hand, pulling him into the bedroom. 

Jae grins. His skin is still cool from the night air. 

Brian’s bedroom is airy, perfect. 

The bed is by a window with a view of the sea through which the moonlight streams in, illuminating everything.

“Lights on or off?” Brian asks, stoking Jae’s cheek. 

Jae smiles. “The moon’s full. I can see everything anyway.” 

Brian nods, then, kisses Jae’s shoulder before moving his lips into the soft hollow of his neck. Jae’s breath hitches, holding onto Brian for dear life as Brian draws small figure-eights with his tongue. 

“Brian--”

“--you okay?”

“Yeah but I’ve never--”

“--done this before,” Brian finishes. “I know. I’ll be gentle.”

“No I mean ever. With _ anyone. _ I don’t know how--”

Brian smiles at him before kissing him softly. “--I’ll show you.” 

Brian kisses Jae again, this time on the mouth, lips slowly licking at Jae’s lips, asking for entrance. Jae’s lips part and Brian lets himself in. He pulls Jae closer, slips a knee between Jae’s thighs, pressing him even closer by the small of his back. 

“Grind on me,” Brian whispers, rocking his hips against Jae’s leg. “Like this.” 

Jae nods, looks into Brian’s eyes. He’s scared but excited, anxious but exhilarated, filled to the brim with aching desire. Slowly, Jae rocks his hips, letting out a soft moan from how good the friction feels. 

Brian smiles, kissing the shell of Jae’s ear. “Feel nice?”

“Y--yeah--” 

Brian moves lower, slowly unbuttoning Jae’s shirt until the cotton fabric slips off of his shoulders. Brian takes a moment to see him: moonlit skin for miles, his nipples soft, the curve of his pelvis disappearing into his jeans. 

“--fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

Jae smiles sheepishly. “You really think so?” 

“Fuck yes.” Brian kisses down Jae’s collarbones, his chest, sucks softly on his nipples until they pucker against his tongue. 

“Oh my god, Brian--” Jae whispers into Brian’s ear. He bucks his hips helplessly, the friction not enough through the fabric of their clothes. 

Brian undoes the buttons of Jae’s jeans, eases his zipper down. “Let me see you.” 

Jae steps out of the rest of his clothes--feels Brian’s eyes on him, tracing his figure silhouetted against the moonlight. Jae grins. “Hey no fair. You too.” 

Brian undresses as if in a haze, not breaking eye contact with Jae as he undoes the buttons of his shirt, pulls off his jeans, underwear. Jae’s heart races. Brian is the most beautiful human being he’s ever laid eyes on. His figure is lean on the cusp of curvy, the little lilts of flesh on his hips, his arms, the curve of his stomach just about the sexiest thing that Jae has ever seen. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Jae says, a little too loud. 

Brian grins. “Look who’s talking. Okay--so. There are a couple of ways we can do this. I’ll be blunt so that there’s as little awkwardness as possible, alright?”

Jae nods, slipping his hands into Brian’s, intertwining their fingers. 

“I can fuck you on your back or you can fuck me on your back. That’s the easiest way we can do it for now so that you don’t get too strained.” 

Jae blinks. “Well. Maybe you could--f--fuck me. Um. First. And then let’s see.” 

Brian kisses him on the mouth. “Okay, then. Did the nurse tell you about the pain threshold thing? If it gets uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll turn the setting on, alright?”

Jae nods. “Okay. But I can do it. I mean. The old school way.” 

Brian nods, pulls out some lube from the drawer, sets it next to the pillow. 

“Lie down on your back. Let me worship you for a bit.” 

Jae climbs onto the bed, feeling nimble and soft and safe and warm as he lays himself on top of Brian’s pillows, Brian adjusting the pillow under Jae’s head before moving himself on top of Jae, kissing him slow while his hands press into the hollows of Jae’s hips. Brian moves slowly, bringing their hard cocks to brush against one another. 

Jae’s hips buck, his hand coming to squeeze Brian’s ass. “Oh fuck. Fuck.” 

“Easy,” Brian whispers, licking into Jae’s mouth. Slowly, he brings Jae’s hand around his cock, letting his precum smear against Jae’s palm as he shows him which way to stroke. “Just like that, okay?”

Jae mewls as Brian brings his own warm palm around Jae’s cock, stroking until Jae is throbbing against him. 

They go like that for a while, all breathless whispers and instructions, each eager for the other. 

“Can you hold off a bit longer?”

Jae nods as Brian releases him, reaches for the bottle of lube. He warms some up on his hands before lathering Jae’s tight hole and then his own cock. He moves closer, poises the head of his cock right at Jae’s entrance. With his free hand he holds onto Jae’s knee, kisses an old scar that rests there. 

“We’ll go slow, okay?”

Jae nods. “Okay.” 

Slowly, Brian brings a finger up to Jae’s hole, circling the pucker of flesh until it starts to pulse against his fingertips, blooming against him. Jae writhes under him. Carefully, Brian brings the tip of his cock flush with Jae’s hole. 

“Oh god,” Jae says, feeling how hard Brian his as he begins with a shallow motion, just brushing the tip of his cock up against his fluttering hole on the open, and then pushing in a little deeper each time. “Oh my fucking god.” 

“Ready?”

Jae nods. “Ready.” 

Brian pushes into him, letting Jae take the length of him. Jae lets out a sharp cry. Brian’s eyes grow wide. “You okay?”

“It hurts a bit. But I’m okay.” 

“That’s normal,” Brian says. “Let me know if you need the pain setting.” 

Jae shakes his head. “No. I want to experience this.” 

Brian reaches for the lube, rubs more onto the junction between them, giving Jae time to adjust--and when Jae begins to relax, he thrusts into him. Jae lets out a moan as he opens farther, letting Brian into him like the ocean thrashing onto the shore.

“Good?”

Jae is speechless, only nods, lets Brian push in, lets Brian lean over him, kissing him deep and wet as he starts to go faster, arms framing Jae’s shoulders. He looks up into Brian’s face, his eyes half-closed in ecstasy. Jae decides to be a little bolder, kisses Brian’s shoulder, traces the line of his jaw with his tongue. 

“Oh my god, you’re so beautiful, Jae,” Brian says, kissing Jae and sucking on his lip hard before looking down, watching himself thrust into Jae, their bodies rocking from the motion. 

Jae feels Brian throbbing inside him, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration like he’s searching--Jae lifts his hips and the head of Brian’s cock comes flush with his prostate. They both cry out as Jae wraps his long legs around Brian’s torso, pressing his face against Brian’s chest. 

“There, Bri,” Jae says softly. “Whatever that is, it feels so good.”

“You feel so good,” Brian says, his voice gravelly now, breathless as he goes faster, deeper, holding Jae against him, aching for release with every thrust. “Make yourself feel even better, Jae. Touch yourself.”

Jae looks down at his neglected cock, pre-cum leaking from the tip, pooling against his torso. He begins to stroke himself, a thrill running up his spine--he feels like he might combust. Brian thrusts harder, surer against that bead of pleasure, going faster the louder Jae cries out. When Jae spills onto himself, Brian goes the fastest, the hardest he can, moving Jae’s hand away and replacing it with his own, letting him ride out his orgasm. Jae thrashes under him, voice hoarse and cracking as he cries Brian’s name. 

With that, Brian cums hot and white into Jae, filling him up but being unable to help himself--he thrusts until he grows soft inside him, until his cum drips out of him, onto the bed, their thighs. 

Brian collapses onto Jae, their sweat mingling as they relax against each other, breathing heavily. Jae brings his arms around Brian, holding him close. Brian leans up to kiss Jae. 

“Thank you for deflowering me? Is that a thing?” Jae grins.

Brian shrugs, laughs. “Thanks for letting me? I guess? Whatever it is, I loved it.”

“Do we have to get cleaned up? Or does Los Ageless take care of that too?” 

Brian smiles. “It does, but how about we bathe together anyway?”

“Fine by me.” 

  
  


**Saturday Night 02, 10:40 PM**

The sound of the ocean crashing against the shore in the distance. Bubbles that smell like blueberries and vanilla. Jae leans back against Brian in the tub. Brian kisses the shell of his ear. Jae turns to face him. Brian smiles. They kiss slow, soft. 

They try to make sense of the patterns the bubbles make.   
  


 

**Saturday Night 02, 11:50 PM**

They lie naked together on the bed, warm under Brian’s sheets. The clock on the end table reads 11:50 PM. 

“Jae? Can I ask you a kind of personal question?” 

“Well, given how personal we got tonight, you might as well.” 

“Why hadn’t you--you know, had sex, with anyone else up until now?” 

Jae smiles sadly. “Do we have enough time for that? Only thirty minutes until midnight.” 

“Give me the Spark Notes version.” 

Jae grins at the dated reference. “I came out to my parents when I was younger, around nineteen. They didn’t take it very well--and more than anything harsh that was said, what hurt me was that I hurt them. And so. I just spent life alone. It wasn’t so bad. I had my family. When they told me about Los Ageless, I really didn’t have any interest in it. Who wants to be young  _ again _ , you know? It sounded exhausting. But then I thought about that one thing: what about trying all those things I couldn’t, you know?” 

Brian nods. “I’m glad you got to try them with me, then. It’s been an honor.” 

Jae smiles, kisses Brian’s nose. “How about you? Did you always know? Did you live an ‘out’ life?” 

Brian lets out a loud laugh. “I’m bi, actually--I um, I had a wife and a kid. I found myself attracted to other guys but they were mostly flings before I got married. It was a different time; people just didn’t do those kinds of things back then, you know? I mean yeah. Yeah, sorry. Of course you know.” 

“Hrrrm,” Jae says. “Where are they? Why didn’t they come here? Pass over?”

“Oh,” Brian says. “Well, they decided not to stay. Either we pass over or pass through, right?”

Jae nods. “Which is it for you?”

Brian looks at Jae, trying to memorize his face, this moment. “Passing through. I can’t pass over, I don’t think.” 

“Why not?” Jae’s heart lurches, the thought of him and Brian living here for good stirring an ache in him he thought he’d long buried.

“I’ve  _ had _ a life, you know?” Brian says. “It doesn’t seem fair to keep on going, hogging it all to myself. I’m tired.” 

“Not living doesn’t give other people life.”

Brian looks unconvinced. “Fun and friends and living out the end days, that’s my motto.” 

Jae glances at the clock. 11:56 PM. 

Brian catches his eye.

“You counting down the minutes?”

“Trying to stop them.”

“We both know that’s impossible.” 

“How about we just lie here and look into each other’s eyes?”

“What a sap.” 

“Years of deprivation of having anyone to be a sap to.” 

“Done, then.” Brian looks into Jae’s eyes, the chocolate-colored warmth of them.  _ It is unfair of me to feel this alive again. _   
  


 

**Saturday Night 02, 00:00 AM**

  
█  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 3 & 4 will be very emotional + may be mind-fucking. :) Just a warning. 
> 
> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227).   
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just--be prepared.

**Saturday Night 03, 08:30 PM**

Jae sits by the bar, watching the door, trying not to make it too obvious that he’s looking, that he’s looking  _ for  _ someone. The bartender serves him a sprite without his asking. He frowns, has a bad feeling about tonight--not that they’d made plans. Not that they’d said they would see each other again. 

The song playing is about falling and being caught, about you saying  _ go slow _ , about time after time, the second hand unwinding. The beat doesn’t pulse, it thrums, humming in his ears. He glances at the door again. 

_ Please be here.  _

  
  


**Saturday Night 04, 10:00 PM**

Jae takes the shot, downs it with the sprite, continues frowning down at his hands. He shouldn’t have come--but how could he not?  _ He’s not going to show up.  _

The bartender asks him about whether or not he wants another round. 

“Hey,” Jae says. “Do you know Brian?”

The bartender laughs. “Who  _ doesn’t  _ know Brian. What about him?”

“Have you seen him around here lately?” 

“Nope. But you can check 1970 or 1992. He likes to buy Lennon LPs sometimes but was also super into Nirvana, I think. Oh--or 2002. I don’t know what’s in 2002, but sometimes he hangs out there.” 

Jae nods, suddenly unsure about whether or not Brian wants to be found. “Okay. Okay, thank you.”

  
  


**Saturday Night 05, 08:00 PM**

In 1970, the 1980s denim and acid wash is replaced by earth and jewel tones, gold accessories, big, fur jackets. Lost Stars is blues and rock and roll, Hendrix singing over the radio--something about a foxy lady. Jae sits at the bar, his denim polo shirt tucked into a pair of darker flares. He taps his boots to the beat, orders himself a Coke for a change.

_ Living on the edge.  _

He glances at the door. 

  
  


**Saturday Night 05, 10:25 PM**

Still no Brian. 

Jae glances at his watch. 

_ What do you want to do until midnight?  _

He orders a coke and rum, lets the minutes tick away. 

_ Wait for you.  _

  
  


**Saturday Night 06, 09:51 PM**

In 1992, Lost Stars is an intimate concert venue: soft, dim lighting, candelabras set up along one side of the stage. Cobain’s signature drawl comes in through the speakers-- _ come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.  _ Jae sighs, slumping into his seat at one of the tables by the door, pulling his oversized plaid polo around him, blending into the rest of the grunge crowd gathered and waiting for the band to arrive. 

He watches the members enter, waiting, hoping to catch a glimpse of silver, a flash of a smile, the mischievous twinkle of an eye.

They enter, plopping their guitar cases down as they set up. 

Jae frowns. Five faces, none of them Brians. 

  
  


**Saturday Night 07, 10:20 PM**

Jae only asks for an hour and a half, heads into 2002 almost as a last-minute thing after having dinner, taking his pills. In 2002, Lost Stars is part arcade, part food stand: different concessionaires selling burgers, hotdogs, soda, the back being entirely dedicated to video games. A girl in a tank top with her hair up in numerous tiny buns aces the next level. The guy next to her in a mesh tank top and cargo pants isn’t quite so lucky. 

Someone changes the track, putting some Kylie Minogue on. 

_ I just can’t get you out of my head.  _

Jae wanders toward the stuffed toy claw machine out of boredom and a listless kind of anger.  _ How could he just leave like that?  _ He hits the green button, steers the claw toward one of the stuffed foxes before hitting the red button. He watches it descend, grasp the soft toy for a moment before having it slip through its fingers. 

He bangs on the console. “Stupid fucking machine.” 

“Jae?” 

Jae whirls around, comes face to face with Brian Kang. Here, he is wearing a puka-shell choker, an oversized polo shirt over baggy jeans. His silver hair is slicked back. He is still handsome, still glowing in the overly bright lights of Lost Stars. 

“I didn’t peg you for a Dance Dance Revolution kind of guy.” Jae’s tone is icier than he intends. 

“Right back atcha.” 

“Can we talk? Somewhere more private?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Let me just say my piece then you can escape to fucking 1865 for all I care, okay?” Jae says, already making for the back exit. 

Brian sighs, but follows. 

  
  


**Saturday Night 07, 10:45 PM**

“What do you  _ mean _ ?” Jae asks for what feels like the fiftieth time tonight. “How can something like that  _ not be worth it _ ?”

“All of this isn’t real, Jae,” Brian says, his tone pleading, desperate for Jae to understand. “It isn’t--”

Jae slaps him across the face. It stings. 

“--did you feel that?”

“Yes.” Brian rubs his cheek. 

“Good. Because I felt everything that I felt when we--you know. I felt it, I felt the way that you looked at me, the way that you held me. I felt all of that. I don’t care if it isn’t real. It’s real to  _ me.  _ And I want you to know that. If you’re walking away from this because you’re afraid to live even inside this--this Los Ageless  _ thing _ , then you’re an idiot.” 

Jae spins on his heel, walks out of the alley and into the street. 

Brian frowns, watching his lamplit silhouette. He sighs.

“Wait.” 

  
  


**Saturday Night 07, 11:25 PM**

They sit on the sand, side by side, watching the ocean as it licks the shore repeatedly. Their bodies are sore from the lovemaking--fast, furious, trying to make up for lost time, trying to not waste any more of it. Brian offers Jae a cigarette, lights them both up. He takes a swig from the wine bottle that sits between them. 

“I’m sorry,” Brian says for the twenty-eighth time tonight. “It’s hard, you know. It’s really hard. Fun and friends--and you know. I just wanted to have a good time. I’ve already put myself through the loss I don’t want anyone else going through that. I don’t want to live here for good. I’m not going to pass over. I’d already made up my mind.” 

Jae lets smoke stream out of his mouth. “You could change it. Live here with me. When we go, I mean.”

Brian smiles sadly, kisses Jae’s temple. “They need a legal relative or spouse to do that kind of stuff. All of mine are dead. I don’t have anyone to sign on my behalf.” 

Jae shrugs. “I’ll do it.”

“I mean in the real world, you idiot.” 

“I meant I’ll find you in the real world, stupid.” 

Brian raises his eyebrows. “I don’t think you’d like me in the real world.” 

Jae grins. “I’d like you anywhere, anywhen. I know when I’m lucky, Brian Kang. I wouldn’t even have a shot with someone like you in the real fucking world--so. I’ll take my chances.”

Brian watches the waves roll, crash, pull back. “You’re actually serious about that?” 

Jae shrugs. “Where are you? What's your real name?”

“Kang Younghyun. Hapjeong-dong, Seoul. Mapo Medical For The Aged. You?”

Jae grins. “Park Jaehyung, Gangnam. I’ll make the arrangements in the morning.” 

Brian’s eyebrows furrow. When he speaks, his voice is almost a whisper. “You don’t have to do that. I’m okay with the time we have, however limited it might be. It’s beautiful because it’s finite, don’t you see that?” 

Jae shakes his head. “No, it’s beautiful because it’s us. All my life I’ve done what I  _ have  _ to do. Let me do what I want to for once.” 

Brian leans against Jae. Jae kisses the top of his head. 

“Okay. I’ll see you soon, then.” 

Brian feels Jae smiling against him. Their bodies are warm against each other. Jae pulls the duvet they’d brought out from the bedroom tighter around them as the ocean breeze slips through, ruffling their hair.

“See you soon--” 

 

**Saturday Night 07, 00:00 AM**

█  

  
  


Brian wakes up, heavy lids fluttering open. The nurse comes to help him up, detaches the two small box-shaped tethers ( █ ) stuck to his temples. He sits up slowly, smiling up at the nurse. When he speaks his voice is softer than he’s used to, the familiar dissonance from coming out of Los Ageless washing over him.

“Have I gotten any calls?” 

The nurse smiles, drapes his cardigan over him, hands him his glasses. He puts them on, reaches for his dentures on the night stand, puts them in. 

“Yes we have. Looks like you’ve been busy these past few weeks.” 

Brian laughs softly. “Turns out I’ve still got it, huh.” 

“Guess so, Gramps.” 

The nurse combs Brian’s silver hair, parting it neatly to the side before giving him some mouthwash in a cup which he gargles and spits into the waiting basin. She wipes Brian’s face with a washcloth dipped in warm water and soap before lathering shaving cream onto his chin, gently shaving off any stubble that’s grown over the past twenty-four hours. She does away with the discarded foam, razor and dries him up.

Brian stretches a little, cracking his feet, the crick in his lower back.

“When is he visiting?” 

“Tomorrow morning. You’ve got a day to make yourself look pretty, BriBri. You want us to go over to the Wellness department today? We could do some Warm Water Yoga, maybe get you a haircut?” 

Brian nods. “Sure. After breakfast? I’m feeling like something indulgent just for the hell of it. Maybe Coco Puffs?”

The nurse gives him a playfully stern look as she hands him his cane, helps him up. “That’s terrible for your sugar.”

“Oh come on,” Brian says. “It’s 20-fucking-75 and I’ve got a date in the real world. Let me live a little.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Jae wakes up early, a smile already on his face. His room is white, bare except for his old acoustic guitar leaning in its stand by the couch and his red typewriter on the desk (more for show than anything else; there’s no ribbon in it). He giggles to himself. Today’s the day. He rings for the nurse who comes in to help him out of bed. He puts on his glasses--still the same metallic frames, but the lenses are thick, heavy--and sits through his sponge bath, raising his arms as he’s told, looking up as he’s told.

“You excited?” The nurse asks.

Jae nods. “And kind of nervous.”

“What’s there to be nervous about?”

“I don’t know. Have you ever been? To Los Ageless? Tried the console on? Maybe on your days off?”

The nurse shakes his head. “Nope. We’re not allowed to test it out. They designed it especially for cells over the age of fifty. It supposedly doesn’t work the same way for us.”

Jae grins. “How ironic. Youth is wasted on the young, huh. Like that old song. Well, I’m nervous he won’t think I’m hot old. It sounds ridiculous. I mean obviously, I’m still me. He’s still him. But I’m nervous anyway.”

"You look great."

The nurse grins, pats Jae dry before helping him slip on the oversized powder-blue-and-navy striped button down he’s chosen for today. He combs Jae’s hair--he’d requested for it to be dyed blonde the day before, shown one of his old photographs from 2017 as a reference.

Once he’s dressed, he gives himself a once-over in the mirror. _Not bad for 83._

“Ready?”

Jae nods. “As I’ll ever be.”

The nurse helps him down the stairs and into the center’s waiting van to begin their trip across the city.

 

Brian is antsy. He adjusts his posture as he waits in his room--smoothens his crisp white shirt, sits up a little straighter. The nurses have taken extra care to fix up the small table with the two sitting chairs facing the window with a view of the city: well-shaded, just enough light coming through. A coffee pot and two cups on delicate rose gold-on-white china sit on the table above neat doilies.

He breathes deep, exhales slowly. The intercom beeps. He hits the small blue button by the table.

“Yes?”

“He’s here, Mr. Kang.”

“Okay, send him in.”

He looks outside to distract himself. His vision is spotty in places these days, blurry on the peripherals. It lends the view through his window a kind of surreal tinge: the focus odd, skewed. He almost doesn’t notice when the door creaks open.

He turns and there he is: Park Jaehyung standing in the doorway, backlit by the light from the hall. He’s older, yes (they both are) but Brian still feels his stomach doing flips, dips. That same smile, the same hesitant demeanor he’d found so endearing on that fateful night in Los Ageless. The powder blue of his shirt brings out his brown eyes. He smiles and Brian’s heart soars.

“Hey,” Jae says.

Brian grins. “Hey yourself.”

 

Jae can’t concentrate. Brian is gorgeous. Although seeped in time, aged, there were still those killer eyes, that gorgeous mouth. He can’t stop smiling, can’t stop losing his train of thought, the conversation slipping from his grasp like the end of thread slipping from a needle’s eye. They’re sipping coffee, nibbling at biscuits.

“Sorry what?”

“I was asking what made you decide to pass over--eventually. I know I told you why I didn’t want to do it but why do you? I always thought that it’d be the generation after us that would get into these kinds of things. I always though we millennials were tired enough of our lives as we’d had it, you know--all the YOLO-ing had to well, mean we were attached to this notion of only living once.”

Jae grins. “Well, Mr. Philosophy, it’s pretty simple. I don’t think I was a very YOLO kind of person for most of my life. Well, all of it before I met you. I was skeptical, you know. When my nieces and nephews said that maybe I’d like to try this, that they hated seeing me so sad, all that I could think of was that it’d be impossible for something like that to happen. It’d be impossible for a computer to get things right, to render you into a cloud of experiences. It would be impossible for you to feel pain or love or desire or a connection through the internet--”

“--Jesus Christ, what kind of rock have you been living under?” Brian jokes. “You never watch The Matrix? Not a big fan of Keanu?”

Jae laughs. “Well, sure, but the things I’m looking for aren’t really along the lines of black trench coats and slow-motion bullets, you know. Sexy eighties rendezvous with silver-haired hottie isn’t exactly trilogy-worthy.”

“Isn’t that what Lord of The Rings was about?” Brian chides.

Jae rolls his eyes. “Trust me, you don’t want me to answer that question or we’ll be here all day.”

“I’d like that,” Brian says, his face warming up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Brian moves a soft, wrinkled hand, puts it on top of Jae’s.

Jae hesitates before asking the question, wondering if it’s too early, scared to ruin the moment, to be on the brink of losing Brian again--here, in Seoul, and online in Los Ageless. “Do you still feel the same about it? Do you still want to, well, die when you die? You don’t want to be uploaded to the cloud?”

Brian sighs noisily. When he speaks his voice is fond. “Well, I’d decided on that but then this asshole charmed his way into my already-dead soul and now I don’t think I have a choice because I kind of want to be with him forever.”

Jae grins. “Guilty as charged.”

Brian holds his gaze. “Damn right.”

“Can you meet me in 1986 on Saturday? Pick me up at Lost Stars?”

“Sure. What do you want to do?”

Jae smiles, secretive. “You’ll see.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the last one. Thank you guys for reading!

**Saturday Night 08, 07:00 PM**

Jae arrives early, wanting everything to be perfect, wonderful, wanting it all to mean something. His heart is full, aching with love, having known all of him--young and old, inside Los Ageless and out of it. He wants tonight to go well, is genuinely wearing his heart on his sleeve for what is probably the first time in his life. 

When they go, they could have this forever. 

_ Please. _

Tonight, he’s worn a deep blue suit, buckwheat flowers in the pocket, white button-down undone to the third. He walks into Lost Stars, orders a Sprite, and waits. 

 

**Saturday Night 08, 08:20 PM**

Brian arrives early, antsy and excited, wondering what this is about. The whole week, he’s felt unlike himself--he’s felt young again, not young online or old in a young body but really truly, actually young. There’s something that he suspects--but he doesn’t dare hope, doesn’t dare wish for that. He finds himself trying to keep his expectations low but dressing up anyway: putting on a black leather jacket over a tight button-down, black denim skinny jeans ripped at the knees. 

He walks into Lost Stars. The music throbs throughout the bar, Madonna singing something about smoky air and being crazy for someone. Younghyun grins as he spots Jae at their table, looking like a dream in a number that fit him better than the seat fit the sky. 

“You’re looking dapper.” 

Jae grins, standing up. “Come on. Let’s go to the beach.” 

 

**Saturday Night 08, 09:40 PM**

The ocean is loud, rolling, crashing onto the shore. Jae carries the bottle of wine they’d procured on the way, Brian bringing in the blanket from his car. They make their way toward the water, both of them plopping down beside each other. The breeze is just cool enough. Younghyun kicks off his shoes, throws the blanket over his and Jae’s shoulders. 

“So what’s up, Mr. Mysterious?” Brian asks. “I mean I know I’m always a special occasion but you definitely don’t usually look like  _ that _ .” 

Jae laughs, a bit nervous now. “Wow. Right to the point, huh?”

“You should know that about me if we’re going to keep doing this,” Brian says, grinning. 

“Okay. So,” Jae says, moving to face him, bracing himself on one knee. “You know how you said that to pass over after you die, you’d need someone--a legal representative, a spouse to sign your stuff.” 

Brian tilts his head, wondering where this is going. “Yeah?”

“Well,” Jae says, suddenly nervous, palms suddenly sweaty. “I was wondering--I mean, I know that you were married and I know you had a life before all of this and I don’t ever mean to replace that or take it over and I’ll understand if you say no but--”

“--yes?” Brian’s heart is pounding.

“--I am a nice guy and we get along really well and you make me feel so alive and maybe I’m being selfish and stupid because I know you’re tired but I need to take this chance or I may as well be back where I started--”

Brian’s eyes grow wide as Jae reaches for something in his pocket. “--Jae are you--”

Jae pulls out the small, black velvet box, opens it to reveal a simple white-gold band with a single, small diamond set in the middle. “--Brian Kang, will you marry me?”

“Oh my god.” Brian feels the tears welling in his eyes. 

“I mean of course it’ll be a bit weird because it’ll say until death do us part but if you marry me, we’ll be here forever and we won’t die in here so if you marry me, really, you’ll be stuck with me forever. Not like, until death. Like forever for real.”

Brian grins, pulling Jae onto him by the lapels of his coat, both of them landing with a soft sound onto the sand. Jae laughs, everything beautiful--the blue night, the cool sand, the breeze, he and Brian tangled up in the blanket. Brian silences him with a kiss, soft but passionate--licking into Jae’s mouth, sucking softly on his lower lip. Jae grins against Brian’s lips, doing his best to kiss him back without losing his composure, without slipping off of him and accidentally flinging the ring into the sea. Brian  holds Jae against him firmly, keeping a hand on Jae’s nape, the other on the small of his back. They pull apart, contemplate each other for a moment.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Brian says, looking up at Jae, his silhouette illuminated by the full moon. Wonderful smile, graceful mouth, lovely eyes. 

Jae leans in to kiss Brian again. “For the record that’s a yes, right?”

Brian grins. “Damn right.” 

 

**Saturday Night 08, 10:45 PM**

They skinny dip in the ocean, leaving their clothes laid out and fluttering on the sand. The full moon makes the water look like glass. Brian holds Jae tight in the water, arms looped around his waist as they make love, he moves into him slowly. Jae’s arms are around Brian’s neck, fingers lost in the silver of his hair, moaning softly against his ear as Brian moves slow and deep in the water, as Brian tells him how beautiful he is, how wonderful he feels. Jae cums untouched, all of it enough, all of it incredible, too much for him to bear. He lets himself go, lets himself kiss Brian hard when he climaxes, sucking on his lower lip so hard he knows it’ll be swollen when they pull away. After, he kisses Brian’s shoulder where it lifts just above the water--broad, sturdy,  _ his _ to have. Brian makes a hungry sound in the back of his throat as the water moves them closer, deeper, teasing him: the effort to keep them afloat, to keep chasing his climax killing him a little, driving him even further. Jae tightens his legs around Brian’s waist, trying to help, trying so hard to be good for Brian as he tries to go as fast as he can suspended in the water, being lifted and dropped by the waves--Jae likes the way that Brian’s hands press him a little too tightly, likes the way that he feels so sensitive even the water feels electric on his skin. When Brian cums into Jae, holding him down by the waist, wanting this warmth, this storm, this beautiful force of nature to last longer, wanting it to tether them together come what may, he whispers a single phrase into his ear, something Brian hasn’t said in decades--something Jae has never heard in his life, not in this way at least.

“I love you, Park Jaehyung. I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

They drift for a moment, smiling against one another, enjoying the lilt of the waves.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Curious Cat](http://curiouscat.me/teenuviel1227).   
> [Twitter](http://twitter.com/teenuviel1227)  
> [Blog](http://teenuviel1227.wordpress.com)  
> 


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